Today I was planning on having this FitChat dedicated to the Olympia. I had the format down, and sent word about it to several people over the last few days, as early as last week to be honest with you. Apparently, this turned into that, and well..due to multiple circumstances, The Olympia FitChat was stopped and will not be rescheduled. But I'm not writing this blog piece mainly because of the failure of the FitChat (I can live with that), but more on the lines of something I've realize lately.
I'm beginning to think I'm not well-liked, even hated...and I don't understand why.
I've done what I can with the limited resouces I have to help make this sport better. I've been a fan ever since middle school (I'm a college graduate student now, so do the math). I've seen the sport evolve so much since then. Yet it seems like, I feel as of lately, there's a circle, and I'm not part of the loop. I try to get involved however I can, whether it's giving out money that I needed (not wanted) for myself to help with a sponsorship (I've done it twice), give money to a mother who's providing an example for not only her fellow competitors but all mothers out there (done that this year, will do it again next year), give those that ask me advice for bettering themselves or a fellow competitor (recently done that)... Okay, I think you get the point.
I'm hoping I'm not coming across as a baby, but I'm...I'm just really confused as to what I'm doing wrong that I feel like I'm a hated individual. Is it because I'm black? No, doubt it, as I know of several supporters who are my color and they are respected individuals. Is it because I don't look like a bodybuilder. No, doubt it's that either, as there are those that are no where NEAR the bodybuilder-type look and they are respected individuals. It is my age? Well...I DO think my age is a part of why people might not like me. See, being a 22-year-old competitor is different from being a 22 year-old fan/supporter. The competitor is viewed as the future of the sport, with limitless potential, while the fan/supporter is more likely viewed as a creep. Young boys/men have that stereotype on them, like all black people listen and like rap. Trust me, not all of them don't. Some like a good country song. :)
All I'm saying to all of you is if I'm doing something wrong, if I'm coming across as something uncomfortable, let me know. I know this may sound crazy, but I'm not an awful human being. I care for and respect the sport of female muscle and want to see if flourish. I want to one day be a voice that leads the next generation of message board leaders, contest promoters, website designers, fans/supporters, etc.
So yes, I do feel like I have a hate target on me by a few, I feel at times that all my work means nothing. So seriously...it it worth it?
You bet it does...